It is basically impossible to write this evening, as I am completely emotionally exhausted by what happened today on the Stinkin Thinkin blog. The Stinkin Thinkin blog is a blog that’s main purpose is to support the ever so normal questioning of AA. Many members of this group are ex AA-ers who have been hurt by the program at its decided belief that Alcoholics, Addicts, and the like are powerless. We have a disease from which there is no cure, except for more AA meetings. I have loathed AA for quite some time. Sadly though, I went for years, believing that I was fucked up in many ways because I could not wrap my head around these AA principals. I know now that I was incorrect. This blog, and many of its members have helped me to do this. I do not want to discuss the blog any more. It is hard for me to stop thinking about it. My bf has told me that he will put blocks on our computers, if I need them. The blog, I am embarrassed to say, has become another addiction. I need to move on.
Here is what I do need to focus on:
Trying to find a job, in education or at the local paper
Deal with the cohabitation situation, whether this means moving or making more space
Make the middle school transition
Pass second scary test
Figure out what is going on in the Master’s program, should I do it, can I do it, etc. Only four more classes to go
Start looking into local private schools
Start another blog, without this freaking Violet identity. I cannot obviously talk about who I am on every level on my blog, as I often discuss addiction and cuss like a sailor. But Violet is prolly a bit more caustic than I am in real life.
Pick an idea for a story and stick to it. I do not want to write the story on the blog. The blog is for my rambles. Not sure why I even have this blog. I was inspired by GO GO and Gunther to write this blog, initially. I wish G2K still had his blog. I wish this a lot. I miss Gunther. It is interesting that the three of us have all at one point taken issue with the blog. I do not think any of us took issue with the blog’s friendlier moderator.
I am not sure how much writing in this overly general way about the blog and my feelings toward it help. At all.