I am kinda a wannabe. If I act/write/speak like my real self, I am sort of like a boring, less talkative, vapid Kelly Kapoor character. Even if I act like my alter ego Violet, it is like this, too though really.
Only, we know in real life how fucking smart she is. I am sorta half smart. I have kind of a "fake smart" or "smart, affected deal" blahblahblah. I am a huge phony. And I am tired; I would love to just sort of become who I am. But I am too scared, I do not have enough money, etc. I am no:
Read this blog.
Follow this writer.
Follow this blog.
Write comments about what I say.
Read what I say.
Really, I live with someone who is rarely in a good mood and I am not working. And I cannot stand to live in my head another moment. I have seen too many Office reruns. Fucking save me.
If yer reading, fucking say something about me. Even if it is only to tell me I have essentially zero to say to me.
I'm sexy and I know it.
Or, read this story, and tell me if you like it or if you did not and why. BYE.
http://harpers.org/media/pdf/dfw/HarpersMagazine-1998-01-0059425.pdf
But my question remains: David Wallace? Is he derived from David Foster Wallace?
And my basic germ of thinking is this: I am fucking desperate for anybody's attention, seriously. If you knew anything about the prick-ish way my loser BF treated me, you'd fucking tell me to get the hell outta dodge.
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