Mr. Z spent the night @ a friends. I miss him, as he's still there. I still hate my house and am spending alotta money there and at the old man's tiny, shitty apartment. I start my new writing group soon. I need to read The Tiger's Wife for my book group. Not sure if I like it yet, I 've only read a few pages. I thought I'd love The Rehearsal by Eleanore Catton, but I cannot stand it. I do do like plot driven novels where the plot is an older creepy teacher preying on a vulnerable student. I am so lazy right now. I might read an F. Scott Fitzgerald novel online.
I had a dream last night that my father rented a Porsche. He took me for a ride; it was some how my birthday present. We went so fast. I was happy tat I was with my father, finally, my father. And then, like all dreams do, it made no sense, as the Porsche turned into a boat, we sped into a canal, and pretty soon, we were sinking. The marine patrol (?) came to rescue me,as he'd "jumped ship." Even though it was so awful, to get ditched as the boat was filling up with water, I was so happy to see my dad in a dream.
Later, I was running through my town (where I grew up). I was so happy that I was able to run. I was running through the down town, thorough a mall that was "occupied," and later though some new and old developments. In my dream, the running felt like flying, like flying too fast, and too uncontrolled.
I miss my dad. I keep Googling him to see if I can find out anything about the drinking. I think I am being overly dramatic about it. I always knew he was a "drunk w/o a drink" as stoopid and as fucking lameasfuck AA-esque as that sounds.
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